THE WRITER

by Southy

© July 2006

PART THREE

Jim woke to a headache.

He’d drunk too much last night.

The final chapter of Willow’s Four Winds was finished at two a.m. this morning, and he and Blair had celebrated with a bottle of wine. Jim had been so happy – for the both of them – that the book was complete, he’d chosen to forget that more than a minor indulgence of alcohol could wreak havoc with his senses.

Jim popped one eye open. He was lying on the sofa, still clothed.

Blair was curled up on the floor, in front of the love seat, sleeping soundly.

His work is done.

Now what?

Jim rubbed his head and hoisted himself to his feet. His knife wound gave off only a mild twinge.

Before long, he would be summoned back to work.

He and Sandburg would part ways.

Jim swallowed thickly.

The sound of a speeding car distracted him. It screeched to a halt at the front gate, and Jim focused his hearing – thereby increasing his headache – and heard the sound of the code being punched into the keypad.

He glanced at his watch. Ten-twelve in the morning.

The car sped into the circular drive.

Jim started to hurry toward the door, then the scent of expensive cigarettes hit him, and he realized that Jenkins was already out front, prepared to meet whoever was visiting.

Jim turned back to Sandburg. He hated to disrupt his slumber, but he knelt down and took him by the arm. “Sandburg, wake up!”

Blair’s heavily-lidded eyes opened. “Huh?”

“Somebody’s here.”

Blair groggily shifted into a sitting position.

Jim was helping him stand when Megan Connor burst through the front door. “Sandy, I want to speak to you this moment!”

Sandy?

Jenkins came in behind her, looking sheepish. “I couldn’t stop her, Mr. Sandburg.”

Blair held a hand to his head and waved an arm. “It’s okay. Leave us, Jenkins.”

“Yes, sir.” Jenkins moved gratefully to the door that led to the balcony, removing another cigarette.

Megan crossed her arms, her eyes on Blair. “What was the meaning of barging into the accounting firm yesterday and demanding that Mr. Ellison here – ” she nearly spat the name, “review the accounts? I’ve trusted that firm for years with all my writers.”

Jim stepped between her and Blair, and wished his clothing wasn’t so mussed. “Then you’ve misplaced your trust. We found nearly a quarter of a million dollars in bogus expenditures against Blair’s account.”

Her nostrils flared. “Yes, Mr. Bowling conceded that there had been errors, due to a greenhorn out of college they had recently hired – and fired, I might add.”

“Two hundred and forty thousand dollars,” Jim emphasized, then challenged, “How would you feel if that had been your money?” A thought suddenly occurred and Jim quickly added, “Maybe it is part of your money. Are you also in on the firm’s phony consulting expenditures?”

Blair came up and grabbed Jim’s arm. “Jim – ”

“How dare you!” Megan’s fists were clenched.

“Jim, I trust Megan. Completely.”

Jim held his ground, attempting to stare her down.

Megan stared back.

Blair stepped in front of his agent. “Megan, I’ve got great news. I’ve finished the book!”

Her eyes darted to him. “You’ve finished?” 

“Yes!”

“Sandy, that’s great!” She wrapped her arms around Blair, and he eagerly returned the embrace.

Jim blew out a breath and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Come on, I’ll give it to you on a disk.” Blair led her to his office.

Jim decided he needed a shower.

**

When he came out of the shower, he could still hear them talking. He put a robe over fresh boxers and started toward the stairs. Megan was moving to the door. “This will be fantastic. I’ll present this disk to them personally, and then I’ll begin negotiations for your next trio of books.”

“What?” Blair asked, his voice flat.

Jim moved down the stairs.

“Your next three books. I didn’t want to mention it to you yet, because they wanted to be sure you were going to finish this one on time. But they’re prepared to offer you a five-million-dollar contract for the next trilogy.”

“Based on these same characters?” Blair asked.

“Of course. Though, if you want to start a new set of characters, they’d probably be willing to consider that, though they might not pay as much.”

Blair pushed his hair back. “Megan, I’m not ready for another book deal. Especially not for another set of juvenile books. I’m ready to move on to other things.”

She tilted her head. “Like what?” She glanced briefly at Jim as he approached them.

“I’m – I’m still thinking it over. I need a break, Megan. I don’t want any new deals right now.”

“They can put it in your contract that your next book won’t be due for a year. Or even two years.”

Blair held up his hands. “Megan, no. I just can’t think about it right now.” He forced a smile. “Let’s just focus on getting this book edited and out on the shelves.”

“Sandy,” she said with concern, “you know how these things go. Two years from now, people may forget about you and you might not be able to get anywhere near five million for the next deal.”

Jim stepped forward. “Don’t you realize that he doesn’t care about the money?”

She put her hand on her hip and frowned. “What business is it of yours?”

“Don’t, Megan,” Blair said. “Jim’s my friend. My best friend. He cares about me.” He punched his chest. “Me.”

Her eyes shifted to his in puzzlement. “So do I, Sandy. It’s my job to look out for your best interests in the literary world. That includes getting the highest possible dollar for your work. You deserve it.”

Jim started to speak, but Blair said, “I also deserve a life. This is my life, Megan. I don’t want another book deal right now. When I do, I’ll let you know.” He turned away.

“Very well, then,” she said unhappily. She gave Jim a glare and then turned and left.

Blair shuffled over to the dining room table and sat down, frowning heavily. “I feel like shit.”

Jim went over to Blair and placed his arm around his shoulders. “Because you’re hung over?”

“That. And because I hate arguing with people. And because I don’t like seeing you and Megan at each other’s throats.”

“I can’t believe she’d tried to defend the firm – not after what they’ve done to you, and probably other writers she’s had sign on with them.”

“Well, you know,” Blair said glumly, “it makes her look bad if the accusations are true. Some of her writers might seek out other agents, after all is said and done.”

“What about you?” Jim took the seat beside Blair.

“I don’t know. I trust Megan’s motives and intentions. I’m just not sure that she and I are on the same path anymore. A part of me would still like to run away and change my name and just write regular stuff – not stuff that’s going to have the tabloids after me.” He shrugged with a brief laugh. “Of course, after a few years of anonymity and being in the poor house, I’ll probably wonder what I was thinking.”

“If you get your assets in the hands of competent people you can trust, the money ought to last you a good while.”

“Yeah,” Blair said, sounding unconvinced.

Jim squeezed his shoulder. “Hey. I remember promising a massage when you finished your book. I’m no professional, but why don’t we put you to bed, and I’ll give you a nice rubdown?”

**

Blair wanted to shower first, and Jim waited at his bedside.

For himself, he’d hung out in close quarters with fellow soldiers and cops. Walking around partially or completely undressed with other men was nothing he felt bashful about.

He wondered if Sandburg might be different. He’d actually only had time to read one of Sandburg’s stories – which Blair had happily given him a copy of when they returned home last night. It wasn’t the action-packed fare that Jim generally preferred, but a poignant piece about an everyday man. At one point in the story, the man was in the locker room at a health club, and his feelings of bashfulness and inadequacy around other men was so intense that Jim had to stop reading for a moment and look away.

He wondered if the scene was drawn from Sandburg’s past, or if it was something that Blair had completely made up.

In any case, he wanted to be gentle and considerate of Blair’s feelings, however unfounded, and not make assumptions or feel entitlement to the body he intended to help relax and pleasure.

The door to the elaborate master bath opened, and Blair emerged with a towel around his waist.

Jim pushed the covers back on the unmade bed. “In you go. Do you happen to have any kind of oil around here?”

Blair shook his head and he scooted beneath the covers. Then he shifted to remove the towel.

“I’ll use a gentle touch then. I’ll start on your back,” he watched Blair roll over onto his stomach, facing away, “and we’ll see how far we get until you fall asleep. Just relax.”

He watched Blair take a deep breath. Then he placed his hands beneath his damp hair. “Let me know if I press too hard or if it starts to hurt. You ever have a massage before?”

“A few times, in college. You know, by students who were learning the techniques.”

Though he knew Blair was trying, he could feel the tension in his muscles. He wondered if he’d ever let himself be pampered. 

Distraction was called for. “I enjoyed reading that story last night.”

Blair raised his head. “Really?”

“Yeah. Some intense stuff. Of course, I haven’t read the others, but I can see why that student felt you were writing about loneliness. That character, Barkart, wasn’t somebody I could ever imagine myself hanging out with, but I felt I really understood him, you know? I wanted everything to work out for him.”

“That’s called being a sympathetic character,” Blair said. “It’s pointless to have a main character that the reader doesn’t care about.”

“That’s a real skill on your part, then, that you were able to make someone like me care about someone like him. In real life, I wouldn’t have a lot of patience with being around somebody wishy-washy like that.”

Blair grunted with amusement. “You’re more a to-the-point, bottom-line kind of guy.”

“Yep. That’s me.” Jim was now rubbing gentle circles along the center of Blair’s back.

“I’m looking forward to writing about a guy like you. It’ll be something different.” 

They fell silent, and Jim gradually felt Blair’s muscles grow more tense. Finally he asked, “What’s wrong, buddy? I can feel how uptight you are.”

Blair swallowed audibly. “I thought that when I finished this book, it would feel like such a relief.”

Jim waited, his hands still moving.

Almost choked, Blair said, “All I feel is empty.”

Jim wanted to make it better, though he didn’t understand why Blair was feeling that way. He could think of only one solution to offer. “Let’s focus on catching up on our sleep today. And then, let’s get up extra early tomorrow and go fishing.”

“That’ll be great,” Blair said, though his voice was subdued.

Jim rubbed down to his lower back, “Sleep, Sandburg,” he beckoned softly.

“Uh... Jim?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think I can sleep while you’re doing this. It’s feeling a little too good, if you know what I mean. It’s been a long time and – ”

“It’s okay,” Jim whispered, taking his hands away. He drew the covers up, and then Blair rolled over. “I’ll leave you alone to rest.” Or whatever.

Blair’s eyes seemed to beam at him. “Thanks for understanding. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.”

“So am I.” Jim placed his hand on Blair’s head and let it stay there a prolonged moment.

Then he turned and left the room.

**

Though they had found a secluded place, there wasn’t the joy in their outing that there had been the previous time.

They both caught fish and put a few of the larger ones in the cooler, throwing the others back. They spoke casually to each other as they cast their lines, but there was a tension that hadn’t been there before.

Finally, near noon, they were ready to pack up and leave.

When they were driving home, Blair said quietly, “You’re almost completely healed, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh.”

“That means you’ll be going back to work soon.”

“Yeah, that seems logical.” Jim now realized why the atmosphere of their outing had lacked unabashed joy.

Blair crossed his arms, staring out the windshield. “You could be seriously hurt again. Or worse.”

“I’ve always worked in dangerous occupations.”

“I wish you could somehow keep working for me. I could pay you myself.”

“You don’t really need a bodyguard, Chief.”

“Financial advisor. Overseer. Career counselor. Something.”

Jim looked over at him, trying to convince himself that his tight throat was from a lack of water. “I’ll always be your friend, Blair. You don’t need to pay me for that.”

Blair lowered his gaze. “An absent friend,” he said softly.

“You’ll make more friends, in time.”

“I realize now that this is why I felt so empty when I finished the book. It meant you would be leaving.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’m not in a hurry to go. I like you, Blair.” Jim felt vulnerable, saying that, for it felt odd to give so much of himself away.

“I wish there was some way you could be around all the time.”

“Maybe I’ll get the assignment again to be your bodyguard when the new book hits the shelves. That’ll be around the holidays, right?”

“Uh-huh. Thanksgiving.”

“It’s just a few months away.”

They were silent the rest of the way home.

**

When they arrived, Blair turned toward his office.

Jim moved to the kitchen, asking over his shoulder, “Want a beer?”

“Sure.”

Jim retrieved two beers from the refrigerator. As he moved back to Blair’s office, he heard Blair listening to his messages on the speakerphone.

An Australian accent was saying, “So, Sandy, be prepared to move out within three weeks. If you need help finding another place to live, I’m here for you. In any event, let’s have lunch soon. I don’t like how we left things last time, and I’d like to know where your thoughts are at, now that the trilogy is done. Call me soon. Bye.”

Jim entered the office as the answering machine beeped and the next message started. “Blair Sandburg? This is Peter Stallings with the Author Relations Department of Prestige Publishing. Now that your book is complete, you need to be moved out of the estate by the end of the month. Also, we’ve contacted the bodyguard service and they’ll be retrieving their man as soon as possible – hopefully today. If you feel you still require a bodyguard, you’ll need to hire one directly. I’ll be sending paperwork over to formalize what I’ve said. Have a good day.”

Blair punched off the speaker phone and looked up.

Jim handed him a beer.

“They got what they wanted from me,” Blair said. “Now they’re pulling all the perks.” He twisted off the cap to the bottle.

“You knew living here was only temporary, right?”

“Yeah,” Blair admitted with a shrug. He sipped his beer.

“At least they’re giving you until the end of the month. Do you have a house somewhere that you own?” Jim tried to remember the list of assets he’d seen.

“Nah. I’ve always lived in dorms, and then various apartments. I’ll need to find another place.”

“With your money, you ought to invest in real estate. It always holds value over the long-term. And it could be a place you call home. I can help you look, if you want.”

Blair smiled appreciably and Jim heard his cell phone ring. He went to retrieve it from the living room. “Ellison,” he answered.

“Jim,” Samuel Fleming greeted, “how are you feeling?”

Jim hesitated a moment, then admitted, “Pretty good.”

“I need you back at work. I’ve made an appointment for you to see your doctor in three days. Two o’clock on Thursday. Hopefully, he’ll announce you fit and we can assign you right away.”

“All right,” Jim said, still hesitant.

“I thought you’d sound more enthusiastic.”

Jim wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Fleming let it go. “Anyway, get in touch right after your appointment. You can take your pick of a few assignments I think you’d be perfect for.”

“Yeah. Talk to you later, sir.” Jim cut the line.

Blair stood leaning against the doorframe of his office. “That your boss?”

Jim nodded reluctantly. “I’m supposed to see the doctor on Thursday, to see if I’m fit for duty.”

“Man, this is starting to feel like the worst day of my life. I’m losing everything.”

The door to the garden opened, and Jenkins walked in, cell phone in hand. “Mr. Sandburg? My company has just pulled my assignment. They want me to leave right away.”

“I heard,” Blair said dismissively.

They both watched Jenkins start up the stairs.

Jim stepped closer to Blair. In a soft voice, he said, “You still have your books, your fame, your money, your young readers, and your ideas for other books.” Yet, he knew it wasn’t enough.

Blair held Jim’s gaze as he took another step closer. “Yes, I have all I that. But it’s not what I want. I want you. I want you more than anything.”

Jim wasn’t sure how to interpret the phrase. But he acted on his desire and reached out to trace Blair’s plush lips with his finger.

He enjoyed their dry, delicate feel against the pad of his digit.

Blair was still gazing up at him and his breath quickened.

Jim then thought he understood what Blair had meant by “want”.

He put his hand on the back of Blair’s head and stepped closer.

Blair closed his eyes and opened his mouth.

Jim answered that request, lowering his head and pressing softly. Testing.

“Mm,” Blair said, reaching to Jim’s waist with both hands. He quickly moved away the one at Jim’s left side, where it touched his scar.

Jim’s heavy breath matched Blair’s as they tasted each other.

Nothing had ever felt like this.

He broke the kiss and pushed Blair back through the doorway.

Blair kept moving until he was leaning back against his desk.

Jim could hear Jenkins upstairs, packing his suitcase.

He looked up at the ceiling, then looked at Blair’s large eyes. “Let’s wait,” he whispered. 

Yet, even as he said it, his hand found the bottom of Blair’s shirt and moved beneath, feeling the flesh of his quivering belly, and then a trail of hair at the center of his chest.

Jim spread his fingers, feeling more of the hair.

He settled his lips across Blair’s, seeking more of his warm breath.

As they kissed, his hand was grabbed by the forearm, and then shoved downward to the clasp of Blair’s fly.

Blair held his wrist now, and tried to place Jim’s fingers inside his waistband.

Jim delved inside jeans and underwear both, and grabbed the firm, awkwardly-positioned flesh.

Blair groaned loudly.

Ah, yes, this was the reaction he wanted from Blair.

Footsteps moved around upstairs….

Jim tore his lips away and rested his cheek against Blair’s, his hand coming up to lightly hold the other cheek, wanting to make sure Blair didn’t move away.

Blair gasped and shifted to rub his head against Jim’s shoulder.

They put their arms around each other and stood against the desk, panting.

How good it felt, holding Blair….

Rapid footsteps appeared on the staircase.

Jim moved away from Blair and toward the foyer, straightening his shirt.

Jenkins was now heading briskly toward the door, suitcase in hand. “Hey, Jim,” he said, “you going to be coming back to work soon?”

“Probably.” Jim was aware of Blair having slipped out of the office and, after a brief wave at Jenkins, move toward the stairs. “I have a doctor’s appointment Thursday.”

Jenkins jerked his head to indicate Jim should follow him out the door.

Jim did, while listening to Blair go up the stairs. “You off to another assignment, or are they giving you a few days vacation?” They stepped out to the circular drive.

Jenkins snorted. “You kidding? This assignment has already been like an overly long vacation. I’m ready for something else. They’re sending me to Europe to guard some rock star on tour.”

Jim nodded, grateful he didn’t have assignments like that. His hearing wouldn’t be able to take it.

Jenkins took out a cigarette, but refrained from lighting it. He stepped closer to Jim. “You’re fond of him, aren’t you?” He nodded toward the door.

He knew Jenkins was highly intuitive, but Jim rationalized that “fond” could mean he number of different things. 

He shrugged.

Jenkins grinned, shaking his head. “He seems kind of a drip to me, but to each his own.”

Jim couldn’t even bring himself to be offended, he was so disinterested in what Jenkins thought.

Jenkins punched him briefly on the arm. “Have fun.” He lit the cigarette, picked up his suitcase, and moved toward his sports car.

Jim went back inside.

He moved to the staircase and looked up.

He started up the steps.

His senses reached out, past the smoky scent of the room Jenkins had stayed in. Down the hall, to the master bedroom.

Arousal. 

His nostrils dilated as he reached the landing and started toward Blair’s bedroom.

He inhaled, breathing in the rich scent.

Blair’s door was partially open.

Jim began unbuttoning his shirt.

He let his arousal happen, feeling the blood pumping through his tissues, forcing an uncomfortable sense of confinement.

He pushed the door back and stood there, his shirt open over his undershirt, his pants sporting an eager bulge.

Blair was lying naked on the bed, the covers pushed back, stroking his erection in a soothing motion.

He stopped. Raised up and held his arms out to Jim.

Jim obeyed, coming toward the bed, feeling that each step was taking too long.

And then he was leaning over Blair, their arms around each other.

His mouth found Blair’s as he lowered himself to the mattress.

Blair groaned and thrust against him, and then reached to Jim’s undershirt and tried to find his nipples.

Jim pulled back and whispered, “Let me. Let me do it all.”

Blair exhaled heavily, and then let his head fall back.

Jim rejoined their lips and pressed Blair back against the pillow. His hand quickly moved down Blair’s torso until it found the stiff erection. He pulled it and a deep groan was his reward.

Jim straddled Blair and moved back, kissing rapidly as he went. He wanted to take his time and explore, but Blair couldn’t wait.

“Jim,” Blair murmured, his hands on Jim’s head, pushing him back. “Jim.”

Jim stuck out his tongue and lapped the underside of the bobbing thickness. He allowed his tongue to feel the throb of the vein beneath.

Blair gasped.

Jim wanted only to please. The rest would have to wait.

He put his mouth over the stout head and allowed saliva to fill it. He worked the moisture around, and then found a way to create suction, applying pressure against the most sensitive area.

“Jim.” Airy sigh. “Oh, God, Jim.”

He sucked avidly now, making a loud wet noise, and felt the moisture at the tip settle on his tongue.

“Oh, my God.”

It fascinated him, the way he could feel the nerves expand as the blood rushed forth, making the delicate skin feel as though it might explode.

Blair’s hands rapidly stroked his hair. “Just like that. That’s perfect.”

He recognized the sounds, if only from experience with himself, that signaled eruption was imminent.

He sucked extra hard, and pulled his mouth back in a slow motion.

Blair cried out and Jim straightened, releasing the firm flesh.

He watched in satisfaction as the organ bobbed against Blair’s belly, and then released a spurt of thick semen.

Blair’s eyes were closed as he cried out again, and then he slowly relaxed with murmurs of satiation.

Jim straddled him again and claimed his mouth.

Blair tried to participate, and then he merely said “Mmm,” and squeezed Jim’s forearm.

Jim nuzzled his cheek, and then whispered, “Will you let me do you again?”

Blair’s eyes popped open.

“I want to love you again,” Jim said, and then kissed down the side of his neck.

“Will you undress?” Blair whispered hopefully.

Jim moved to stand beside the bed. He flung off his shirt, then reached over his head to his back and pulled off his undershirt. Once that was discarded, he opened his pants and pushed all his lower clothing down his legs.

He removed his socks and then straightened, aware of his manhood bobbing in the air.

Blair eyed him up and down. “You look like a Greek god.”

Jim was glad he was pleasing. He returned to the bed, kneeling on one side of Blair. He ran his hand down the sparsely furred torso. “Are you willing to turn over? I only want to play with you. That’s all.” He was aware that his reassurance was as much for himself, as for Blair.

Blair rolled over.

It would be a while before Blair was aroused again, so Jim placed both hands on his shoulders and rubbed leisurely. Then he bent down, nosed the long hair out of the way, and sniffed at Blair’s neck.

His hands later moved down, and he sniffed Blair’s armpits. Eventually, he licked along his spine. He was gratified when Blair relaxed, spreading his legs a little more.

Jim shifted back and massaged along the well-shaped buttocks. He was aware that his penis was aimed at the their cleavage.

He straightened, then softened his touch as his hands moved near Blair’s thighs and genitals. “I just want to play,” Jim whispered in reminder.

His thumbs gently parted the lower cleavage. The right one brushed along the lightly-haired depression.

Jim stroked it. He was careful to squeeze the other buttock with his left hand, while his forefinger explored the unknown. He touched the wrinkled skin, and focused his tactile sense there. He felt the tight texture at the opening, and was aware of his own penis leaking fluid.

Blair had never been penetrated. He was certain of it.

Jim moved his fingers down to the delicate texture of the scrotal pouch, and massaged with a gentle touch.

As he did so, he acknowledged to himself what he really wanted.

He massaged the pouch for a while, and then braced his other hand against Blair’s side. “Back over,” he prompted.

Blair rolled over, his eyes closed and his legs spreading, as though giving himself over completely to Jim.

His phallus was beginning to fill.

Jim could really enjoy him this time.

His left hand rubbed along Blair’s chest. His right scratched his pubic region.

Blair whimpered happily.

Jim bent and took the hesitant flesh in his mouth.

The flavor at the sticky tip was strong. He dialed down his sense of taste, while mouthing the rest of it wetly, encouraging it to harden.

His left hand tweaked a nipple. It became erect almost immediately.

His right hand felt the scrotal pouch and gave it a gentle pull. He listened to Blair’s reaction, and then moved his forefinger to the recess beneath.

He was sucking now. Tweaking each nipple in turn. His finger felt for the wrinkled skinned and found it. He rubbed, feeling the ultra softness of the tissues, between the hairs.

He pushed gently and felt the barrier.

The muscle was reacting now, as Blair’s erection solidified. It flexed around the tip of Jim’s finger. He stroked, encouraging it.

“Man,” Blair gasped.

Jim focused on the throbbing underside with his tongue. He brought his hand down to grip the phallus and hold it in place, producing another groan.

It was taking a lot of effort, but he had Blair right where he wanted him… lax and open to anything Jim wanted to do.

All Jim wanted was to please.

He continued to suck.

When he felt that ejaculation was imminent, he again pulled off.

He liked watching it, the flow that dribbled from Blair’s cock onto his belly. It was a lot less this time, but still proof of his pleasure.

Blair relaxed with a long, airy sigh.

Jim stroked himself, feeling proud of how thick and taut his own erection was.

Blair’s eyes opened lazily. Then he shifted to sit up. “Bring it here,” he said softly. He placed pillows at the headboard and rested back against them.

Jim straddled Blair, and then straightened to rest his arm against the wall, above the headboard. He looked down and watched the throbbing head of his cock disappear between the plush lips of the most interesting mouth he’d ever seen.

The lips closed around him, the cavern within warm and succulent.

He ejaculated.

**

Even in sleep, his hand drifted lazily along Blair’s shoulders, rubbing gently.

His nostrils detected the dried semen along Blair’s belly, and at the corners of his mouth.

Jim opened his eyes. He was resting back against the pillows, Blair curled against his chest.

He was silent as he listened to Blair come awake.

Quietly, Blair said, “I’ve never done anything like this before. With a man, I mean.”

Jim hugged him closer.

“Have you?”

Jim shook his head, wondering why gender didn’t matter.

“It’s never felt like that,” Blair said, his hand rubbing along Jim’s ribs, careful of the scar. “I’ve never had anyone love me like that, take their time with me. Hard to believe you aren’t experienced.”

“I wanted you,” Jim said simply.

Blair smiled. “That’s good. Because I wanted you so, so much too. I just didn’t realize how much until it looked like I was going to lose you.”

They swallowed at the same time.

“Don’t go,” Blair pleaded.

“I don’t want to,” Jim admitted, looking away.

“Then don’t. If money is a problem, I have plenty for both of us.”

Jim drew a breath. “It’s not my way to be dependent on anybody.”

Blair rubbed his cheek against Jim’s chest. “It’s not my way to fall in love with anybody. Especially not another man. Yet, here I am.”

There were silent a while. Then Blair said, “We can work something out, Jim.” He looked up at him. “Don’t you want to work something out, so we can stay together?”

Jim nodded. He just didn’t know how that could be.

“Then let’s go with that. One day at a time.”

Jim gazed out the window along the opposite wall, remembering what his fingers had felt, what his cock had yearned for. “I’m going to want to mount you.”

“You mean now?” Blair asked in puzzlement.

“No,” Jim assured quickly. “But soon.”

Blair voice held trepidation. “I’ve never done anything like that.”

Jim squeezed him closer. “I’ll be gentle.” He hesitated. “I can feel your nerves. I’ll know if I hurt you.”

“Your senses are that sensitive?”

“Yes, if I focus.” Jim suddenly realized something and lowered his gaze. “Chief…. If I wear a condom, I’ll feel the latex instead of your nerves.”

Blair was silent a long moment. Then he said, “If you trust me enough to go bareback, then I trust you. I haven’t done it in a long time.”

Jim swallowed thickly. “Neither have I.”

Blair suddenly looked up at him, meeting his eye. “How long?”

Jim felt a blush come over him. He was suddenly uncomfortable and wanted to leave the bed.

But he couldn’t abandon Blair in this delicate moment. He again looked out the window. “Not since before I left the police department.”

Blair drew a long gasp and got up on an elbow. “Two years?”

“At least. There was the divorce and I wasn’t interested for a while. And then the senses… I didn’t know how to handle the idea of sex with the heightened senses.”

“I find that so hard to believe,” Blair said with sympathy, pressing against Jim, as though to cover him. “How could you be so patient when you were ready to explode?” Then, with a hint of humor, “no wonder you had so much cum. I thought it might never stop.”

“I-I wanted to please you,” Jim said. “It seemed more important than anything.” More softly, he admitted, “Still does.”

Blair squeezed his arm. “Then you can’t go back to the bodyguard service. Please don’t go back. I’ll worry about your safety constantly. And miss you so, so much.”

Jim wished he didn’t have such a sense of duty. “I have that doctor’s appointment on Thursday.”

“Then go. Make sure you’re okay.” Blair hoisted himself into a sitting position and crossed his legs, Indian style. “Jim, when you were married, didn’t you and your wife mingle your money together?”

“Some of it. You know, for household bills and such. But we both had our own accounts.”

“Hm,” Blair said, as though disappointed. Then, “What if you and I decided to stay together permanently? Would it be okay with you then to live off ourmoney instead of my money?”

Jim shook his head emphatically. “Neither you nor I is ready to make any kind of commitment like that.”

“I know. But, I’m just saying that at a future point….”

Jim rubbed his hand across his face.

Blair relented, “Okay, one day at a time. Let’s just keep the status quo for now.” He brushed his fingers against Jim’s chest. “Learn to love each other physically. And then see where we want to go from there.”

Jim suddenly realized what was bothering him. He brought a knee up and laced his fingers around it. “You’re serious about writing about me, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Blair said with enthusiasm. “I keep learning more incredible stuff about you every day. What you told me just now about your tactile abilities… it opens up all sorts of possibilities, from a fiction standpoint.”

Jim frowned, his heart clenching in dread. “What about when you finish your book?” He leaned forward to rest his cheek against his knee and closed his eyes. “You might lose interest in me when you no longer need me for your book.”

Silence.

Jim opened his eyes.

Blair abruptly moved to the other side of the bed, and then stood.

He was frowning.

“That’s not fair,” he said, opening a drawer and tearing open a moist wipe. He rubbed it along his stomach. “I majored in anthropology, with a minor in sociology, for the very reason of being able to understand man and what makes him tick. I always draw story ideas from life. It’s part of who I am. But that doesn’t mean the subject of my ideas means nothing to me, just because I’m not getting fresh ideas from them any more.”

Jim understood the explanation, but he found it hard to trust.

Blair picked up his clothing and moved back toward the bed. More quietly, he said, “Jim, I’ve told you over and over how important you are to me, because you accept me for me.” He slowly shook his head. “Please don’t tell me now that you think I don’t love you for you. I’ve never felt anything like this. For anyone. And it certainly didn’t start here.” He indicated the bed.

Jim nodded, not sure what else could be said. He, too, stood and reached for his clothes.

“Maybe,” Blair said softly, “we need to give each other permission to learn how to love each other.” He presented a bashful smile as he started to dress. “I don’t think either of us has much practice.”

Jim fastened his pants, and then put on his undershirt. “Touché,” he said with equal softness. Then he bent to kiss Blair on the mouth, tasting remnants of himself. “You need to brush your teeth.”

Blair shrugged. “It’s just the two of us here now.”

Jim pulled on his shirt. “You need to brush your teeth.”

** 

They made dinner together, working in the kitchen side-by-side. Communication was kept to a minimum. Blair made a shrimp stir fry dish, while Jim focused on the side offerings.

Jim’s thoughts kept returning to “what ifs” and similar questions. What if he were to take a bodyguard assignment? Would he wonder about Blair constantly? Would he miss him, even if they talked on the phone frequently?

Would he miss having sex with him, even though he hadn’t been having it regularly for a long time?

Would it bother him to think that Blair might not see to it that his finances and other basic concerns were being tended to?

What if Blair got interested in someone else? Could Jim be happy for him that his loneliness was ended?

What if someone else pleasured Blair?

As they sat across from each other at the table, Jim put his fork down. He stared at his plate a moment, knowing Blair was now gazing at him, waiting.

Jim looked up to meet his eye. “I love you.”

Blair’s mouth fell open and he blinked.

Then he closed his eyes and held his arms out to his side. “Just let me enjoy this moment,” he whispered in a thick voice. “No one has ever said that to me before.”

Even as he was glad to give something so valued, Jim wondered if he really wanted to get involved with someone who seemed so high maintenance.

Except… he was already involved. His heart was, at least. He couldn’t walk away.

Jim waited until Blair slowly opened his eyes, and then he said, “I don’t know how we’re going to make this work, but I won’t be parted from you. I want you for myself.”

Blair swallowed and gave him a watery smile. “I think I’m going to get emotional.”

Jim’s mouth corner twitched. Yes, Blair was unlike anyone he’d ever known before. So different from the type of person he’d normally choose to hang out with.

And yet, it seemed as though his life hadn’t begun until he came to this estate one night a few months back, to begin his assignment with this famous writer. He had a difficult time thinking back to all the years he’d lived prior to knowing Blair.

Then there was the fact that Blair was famous, within certain circles. Jim didn’t like the idea of competing with that.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Blair no longer wrote children’s books.

Blair’s large eyes gazed at him. “This means we’re going to sleep together every night and stuff like that?”

Jim nodded. “Y-yeah.” It was difficult to imagine someone always being there, after being on his own for so long.

Blair left his chair and came around the table. He bent to put his arms around Jim and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Man, Jim. This is so unbelievable.” He turned his head so his cheek was now on Jim’s shoulder. “Does this mean I get to think of you as mine?”

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an emotional conversation. His wife, Carolyn, had always been so reserved. Like himself. “Y-yes. I’d like that.”

“I want you so much, but I’m afraid I’ll mess up and ruin everything. It’s hard to trust that this is really true.”

Jim pressed Blair closer against him with one hand. With the other, he began rubbing long strokes along Blair’s back. 

“Like we said,” Jim said softly, “one day at a time. Let’s not try to make everything happen at once.”

“This feels so good. I’d love to go to bed early and just curl up together. You know, not do anything yet.” Brief laugh. “I’m still drained from earlier.”

Jim continued to hold him, not wanting to disrupt their closeness.

“Jim?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to your doctor’s appointment on Thursday?”

Blair still seemed worried that he was going to go back to work. “Yes. May as well get an official bill of health behind me.”

Finally, they parted, and then Blair sat on Jim’s legs, straddling him, his arms loosely around his neck. “Then what?”

Jim shrugged. “I suppose I should resign.”

“We should be able to stay busy for a while, just dealing with my financial stuff and looking for a place to live.”

“We don’t have to figure all this out tonight, Chief.”

Blair lowered his gaze. “I guess I’m worried that if we don’t figure everything out at once, you’ll decide to leave, after all.”

Jim stroked Blair’s hair. “There’s nothing I can say that can make you trust my feelings for you, is there?”

“It’s not a lack of trust. I know you’re saying what you feel. I’m just afraid that what you feel might change. You wouldn’t be able to help it.”

Jim pressed Blair closer. “I guess that’s a risk we’ll both have to take, isn’t it?”

Blair released a breath, relaxing in Jim’s arms. “Yeah, I guess you don’t know what my feelings will be in the future, either, no matter how much I love you right now.”

“Let’s not worry about the future, Blair. Let’s stay focused on the now and making that work for us.” Jim pulled back. “Agreed?”

Blair grinned at him and nodded. “Agreed.” And then he swallowed thickly. “I love you so much. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much. I hope you aren’t going to mind if I want to say it a lot.”

Jim smiled warmly, feeling his heart flutter in his chest. “As long as you don’t make a scene in public.”

Blair squeezed him closer. “No promises.”

**

They went to bed holding each other.

They woke in the early hours of the morning and made love until the sun was high in the sky.
 

END PART THREE

Part Four

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